A door in the largest building around opens. A skinny, pale human, wearing white robes and a triple-tiered crown, carrying a golden staff topped with a bejeweled cross, comes in. In an almost snake-like manner of silence and stealth (similar to a familiar teacher), the skinny fellow travels through the building, passing armed gaurds and other sorts of booby traps. He approaches a large set of doors and pushes them open.

Three Irken fellows, each the same height, and twice the human's size, are discussing something at a desk. The human walks forth and bows, placing his crown on the floor in a sign of respect for their sovereignity.

He turns to them and begins, before they can zap him.

"Esteemed sovereign of the database, I come to you proposing doctrines and amendments to appeal and appease the common man-"

One of the Tallest pulls out a big laser.


"Now now," another Tallest interrupts, "hear the human out... THEN shoot him."

"Uh... heh heh, thank you, your grace."

The human wheels over a chalkboard.

"Sovereigns, my name is Jones Johnson. I am an esteemed representative of the local Censorship Bureau. It is my job to crush unholy thoughts from the minds of those in the educational system, particularly in the local School."

"It's spelled S-K-O-O-L, Jones."

"Bah. Anyway, I was sent a copy of your doctrine to enforce upon the children, and I was confounded at the lack of liberties given to the common human. You see, your graces, you should rule a bit more passively. The people, your subjects, are equally import-"

The Tallest who yelled about the patriotic thoughts pulled out a laser and aimed it at Jones.

Another Tallest slaps him, and he puts the laser away.

"Your subjects deserve a say on the database... pleae don't shoot me for saying this, but if you oppress the Masses, they won't want to edit here! Oh, and don't forget about the Supreme Beings, who abhor undemocratic rules."

The Tallest nod towards one another and look towards three gigantic paintings, one of a brown fuzzy ball, a humanoid with a mushroom hat, and a serious-but-rather-pretty looking human woman. These were the Supreme Beings, who dominated the universe long before the Irkens ever thought about conquest.

"Here is what I preopose, your graces."

The human scribbles some things on the chalkboard.

"First off", the human said, gesturing his cross-topped staff at the first picture, showing a smiling Irken standing next to a measuring ruler, "all users grow as they help out the wiki. Eventually, they will ask for Rollback and Sysop, something you will grant, I'm sure. However, as they continue to grow in height, they may reach you. If I know anything about your customs, those who are your height join you as rulers. What if a user arises in such importance, that he DOES reach your height? I mean, if someone edits that much, they're esteemed!"

The human inhaled, and continued his rant.

"I propose that a common man with enough edits- thus reaching the desired height -can propose to join you as a Tallest. Through the Requests for Adminship page, a user reaching your height should have the right to run for Tallest. If enough users that are not Tallest consent, he too becomes sovereign, ruling with you. To solve the problem of a tie, the Tallest should put a controversial idea to vote. Your subjects will be pleased at being the tiebraker between you. The common man should have a chance to be a Tallest. While the heir system can exist when one of you quits, you should be able to coronate more Tallest while you are active."

The human gestured to the second picture, showing a Tallest stepping on a small human.

"There should be checks and balences between the Tallest and the commoners, your graces. I prepose that your subjects have the authority to call you out if need be, and to blog about it, as long as it isn't insults or whining. Free speech, to an extent, is a tenant of a stable wiki-"

The same Tallest whipped out his laser, but another Tallest smacked him across the face, and he put it away.

"A-after all, someone saying that one Tallest is oppressing a subject outside of their usual behavior is a needed item. Or, if there is an OOC war to be settled, and one side is favored, the enemy could blog his position to your subjects, to be settled appropriately without the need for attacks."

The human gestured his staff to the third image, showing several Irkens in judge's robes.

"Your graces, the Sysops and Rollbacks are important to a healthy society. Sure, they answer to you alone, but they need some power and a way to curtail yours. Dear sovereigns, you should build safegaurds in case one of you goes power-crazy, or if one of your Backpacks happens to be hijacked. Considering that you need those to live AND considering their programming, you don't want someone to turn you into a pwer-hungry tyrant, running amuck! The Supreme Beings have better things to do than curtail drama, your graces. There must be a way to stop a Tallest from running rampant."

Jones smiled, as no laser was pointed at him, this time. He gestured his staff to the same image.

"The Sysops and Rollbacks are the key. Your graces, a majority of Sysops and Rollbacks, when combined, should have the ability to curtail your power. If the Tallest agree to a measure that is hurtful to the site or the populace, the Sysops should have the right and duty to alert their masters of it. I propose that an edict issued by the Tallest can be overruled by enough Sysops and Rollbacks combined. The Tallest themselves can not vote in such a veto conference, as it is a Sysops and Rollbacks-only position. If a veto is issued, then the community may propose a better idea."

The human then gestured his staff to the fourth image, showing a commoner raising his hand.

"Your subjects should have the right to propose amendments and suggestions to the Ultimate Rules. Everyone has intelligence and value on a good wiki. Listen to your people, and submit to their will whenever you can. A well-liked Tallest is a Tallest that remains in power."

Jones rolled the chalkboard away and bowed again.

"You see, your graces, a wiki is a community-oriented project. Everyone has a place and an equal purpose. No one should be better than someone because they are more powerful and trusted. Treat your subjects with respect, and they will, in turn, respect you. Give your people a vocie, as the Masses must have a voice to be happy in society."

The human brought the chalkboard abck and erased his previous drawings, and began to write as he spoke.

"To conclude, your graces, I prepose the following doctrines."

  • The common man should have the right to run for Tallest if he earns enough respect, edits, and consequently, height.
  • Your subjects should have the right to free speech, but to an extent. While they may speak out or criticize you and other ideas, they should never have the right to hurt someone or flame war.
  • There must be a system of checks and balences. The Sysops and Rollbacks combined should be able to override you in a majority vote, but only if the people are against a decree or other policy.
  • The Masses may propose rules, suggestions, doctrines, policies, and laws.
  • Give your people a voice, and they will in turn support you.
  • Be welcoming to everyone, discriminate against no one. A happy citizen is a productive citizen.
  • Encourage new subjects to write. If they act OOC, don't simply rollback their edits or yell at them. Explain to them what is wrong and how they can fix it. Use respect and courtesy.
  • Become an equal-oppurtunity employer. Anyone should be able to rise to power, even to Tallest, not just people you like.
  • Leave the Supreme Beings alone. They have enough issues to stop, so never contact them, ever. If they see your rule, they may be angered, or worse, tie it to me. Please emphasize that the government you have set up is not based on any other universe, and that it is not my fault or anyone in any other universes' fault that you are a triple-dictatorship. Take responsibility for your government and please leave me out of the blame!

Jones wheeled the chalkboard away, and picked up his crown, placing it back on his head. He bowed once more, as the Tallest looked on.

"Your graces, it was an honor to speak to you without getting fried by a laser. I hope that you consider my suggestions. The Masses some power, because without them, you are nothing. Again, my name is Jones Johnson, and I am glad that you heard me out. Have a glorious day."

The human exited the room, as the Tallest began to discuss his suggestions.

...or is it?

-- TurtleShroom™! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!!  :)  :) Hey George... forgot Halliburton. 22:42, April 29, 2010 (UTC)

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